The Good Fight
Traveling through the Metro on my way home last night, at about 1am, my brain and body began to shut down. I recall, mainly in a haze, shambling onto an escalator, and then trying to jog up it two steps at a time out of ingrained emotional habit, only to lose the energy and trip, banging my knee on the edge of the steps. By the time I got home, I was falling asleep standing up, and I crashed heartily for about 10 hours.
And that’s how I know this was a good week. I may not have gotten more than 6 hours of sleep on any given night, but I had energy each and every day, and only got more productive at work as the week went on. I practiced piano, took lessons, got out Thursday night to see a Ratatat show (my first exposure, and as it turns out I totally should have been all over this group years ago). I finally published Matt’s and my Android app. I even managed to do my taxes, including the tricky research and calculation from my client work, between 9 and 11pm on the night of the deadline, and I’m at least 80% sure I won’t be audited.
In between the gaps there, I enjoyed the company of my friends and coworkers, who have all conspired to make me feel extremely welcome in DC. If there was one major problem with my time in New York City, it was that I saw, met, and worked with very few people. I’ve probably matched or exceeded those figures in only 6 weeks here in DC, and a few of my new friends have already become quite close. It gives me a sense of real belonging, that I’m in the right place at the right time, and that I’ve navigated another decision point successfully.
I didn’t say much about it at the time, but my first week here, I was pretty much just depressed. I’d dissolved a stable, tranquil existence in Brooklyn, had only 1 or 2 friends in DC, and wasn’t that excited about the apartment I’d signed myself up to move into mid-March. Combine that with the severe angst I suffer when I start a new job, to make sure that I start out productive and valuable despite all my self-distracting habits and the necessary ramp-up time—not to mention all the physical labor that goes with intercity moving—and I was seriously questioning whether I’d made the right decision.
But that feels like a long time ago…and it was. I’ve got a satisfying job, interesting coworkers, good friends, and to top it off, my friend Nathan will be moving in to my place in a few days. I have more energy than I can recall having in quite some time, my optimism seems to be back in place, and along with it a fledgling spark of genuine self-confidence; and that’s something new. More and more, the mantra running through the back of my mind is: I got this.